It is perhaps not surprising that Rhiannon's lessons have approached faster than any of the other Goddesses so far. Artha's season is barely over and already Rhiannon has reflected Her lessons in the mirror.
The first one came around a week and a half ago. I found myself becoming very clingy with my lover. I kept repeating that I loved him and wanted reassurance that he'd come back for me after his first year of his degree, and that the night we'd spent together was good for him too. I knew all this things were mutual - he is very expressive in his love - but I needed constant reassurance of this. I crave him to adore me and shower me with love.
I thought I had left the last relationship with my mind relatively intact, even if my heart was broken. I did not have any negative feelings about myself, and I am not a jealous partner as a result of the nightmare. But as I have slowely allowed myself to love again the insecure feeling of being abandoned has crept up on me. Previously I was made to feel unlikeable, boring and under-sexed, so now I want reassurance that I am not those things. I know I am not, and my partner makes it clear, yet my instincts still require it. This appears to be an underlying doubt in my own self-love, and I hope that Rhiannon can heal this with me this season.
The second one clears up a big issue in my life. I am filled with passion. My whole life I have been a dreamer. I have dreamed of things I want to do and achieve in life and as I've got older these dreams have burned with such intensity that at times I cry with emotion! I desperately want to do this, I cannot wait to do that, I'd do anything to live there! I say I love so many things, and there are so many things I burn to do. It means I often feel overwhelmed, take on too many projects, fear too much that things won't work, or try to hard to make sure they do.
When I walked Artha's labyrinth the Morgan told me that my power was my ability to love, and my ability to overcome such heartbreak was a testament to how strong this power is. I am welling up just typing it... This passion inside me is burning now with hope for this future - and fear! I now understand how I am always so overwhelmed!