The season is shifting and Domnu's waters are beginning to roll in waves at my feet. It has ben incredibly warm and I've longed to immerse myself in Her water, and drink the refreshing liquids of Her fruits. This time I do not feel sad to move on from Beltane, as we are keeping the Rhiannon altar up in the bedroom, and I know that my future lies in the Rhiannon Priestess training. So I am in the process of setting up my Domnu altar and preparing for Solstice.
I feel like I wrote more than usual this month, perhaps as it is my favourite season, or perhaps because as time goes on I am opening up more and more to Her energy.
Something I realised from this season was a terrible habit I have for holding on to the past and not living in the present. I have always had a problem of letting go of things, and as I get older this is getting more important to do, as my problems seem a bit more important than they were as a child!
I am deeply nostalgic and sad for the past. It has been a trait of mine for as long as I can remember. I hate the feeling of loss when looking back at old times (which is exemplified these days by the ending of a long-term relationship that fills up many of the past memories now). This feeling makes me long for the future, a greener grass, a new life, a fresh start and the promose of my own home and the freedom of a car. This progresses onto a feeling of discontent as I wait for the future to happen and wish the time away. I am either lingering on the past, or longing for the future to begin. Even on a smaller scale I wish my days away for my next day off work (where I do very little as no on else is home) or to the autumn when I hope to start a new course of study. I hardly ever relish the present.
This is another of Rhiannon's lessons.
When we connect with the Goddess we are making a link with Her in that moment, unifying with our whole selves and the universal spirit of life. We are present in Her presence, and She is always there, just waiting for us to realise that and switch on.