During the Lammas training weekend, I sat on Chalice Hill connecting to the Mother Goddess. I realised looking out on the horizon that this is a place where I feel that warm comfort of home. I haven’t felt this way since leaving my home in Wales in 2014. Home and belonging is a really important thing for me and so I am always looking to settle my roots down. It makes sense then, that during the weekend of the Mother I would start to search for home again.
In response to this maternal feeling of belonging, I felt the growing urge to live in Glastonbury. I looked out at that land that I wished I could tread upon freely and regularly. I looked at my like-minded friends and missed the time when I lived near enough to friends to actually socialize! I sat in the Temple, familiar with its surroundings, comfortable and belonging. How surreal to be sat in there at that moment, thinking back to my first visit here, to the first time I encountered the Pop-Up Temple at University, the frustration that lack of money and a controlling partner prohibited me from going on to train as a Priestess.
It has been hard to decide to put my career goals to the side and choose this other part of my life to focus on instead. But when I think of the joy I feel in circle and when I take part in Pagan/Goddess events, I know this is something special. I am a Pagan who is called to clergy, called to dedicating my life to Goddess. She has a plan for me and I am still young; there is plenty of time to do this now, and progress in my career later on. My current job ends at the start of November, so beyond that I’m free. Nothing truly holds me in Wales anymore. I need to fly the nest and trust in Her and in myself. I need to find my inner power.
These decisions began to grow during the Lady of Avalon Goddess conference - which I do not believe is just a coincidence!
I had always loved the idea of living in Glastonbury but never entertained it as possible until now. I had been waiting on two job applications that would hold me in Wales. During the week I received an email saying that I did not get an interview for one of the jobs I applied for (I actually forgot that I was expecting another!). I took this as a sign to move on in my life. The idea was blossoming in my head, whirring around excitedly. In a weird turn of events, the afternoon after I decided to commit to a house I had a call from work – I’d missed an interview for the second job application; I’d never received the invite. If I had I may not have decided to move so soon, but I did not receive this… More signs.
Accepting Her dark hand…
In Her Temple, Ker told me that this is my life. That life has started and I need to start living it, not just waiting for it to happen. I remember the longing I had in the White Spring. Goddess told me to bathe naked, but my fear stopped me from fulfilling this longing. In the end I did listen at last. I can hear Katinka’s voice saying, "Just say Yes! to Her. If you say yes from the start and surrender to Her voice, it is so much easier..." I felt the same about Rhiannon training, and that same voice telling me to move, and the same fear pulling at me. But I have learnt from before, and I'm trusting in Her.
So I shall be moving to Glastonbury in October! I'm making a wild, daring decision. I'm going it alone, but I know I won't be really be alone. I'll be working hard to fund this life, and hope to serve the Goddess, walk Her land and celebrate Her with friends.
Many plans, many dreams, many fears <3