This weekend we completed our First Spiral of the Priestess of Avalon training, dedicating as Sisters and Brothers of Avalon.
I feel so proud, fortunate, greatful and empowered that I was able to complete this year. I am so lucky to have found the money and courage to sign up and actually be a part of this, and I have learnt so much. This weekend has shown me that I still have a lot to learn and heal within myself, but it has been a fascinating journey so far.
I have been called to the Isle of Avalon to serve as Her Priestess. It is my deepest prayer that I will be able to do this fully, and that I can find a job that coincides with this dream. Goddess called me there, She has a plan for me, and I hope She has a way for my to serve Her. During our dedication I prayed to Her asking how I can serve Her. She replied saying, 'do what you love'. I love Her. I love doing ceremonies for Her, talking to others about Her, creating art for Her.
In the past I have been criticised for being a bit too religious. For spending too much time talking about Paganism, or doing Pagan things, or having too many Pagan friends. For other faiths, one day a week is enough religion. The fact is, Goddess, the Earth, Nature, Spirituality, is my life and I love it. It brings me the most happiness. I was born to be a Priestess. Some are born to be chefs, painters, architects, dancers, bishops... I was born to do this. And so I have no guilt or apology for it being the centre of my world.
During the ceremony I rediscovered faith. Two years ago I thought I had lost faith - not my spiritual journey or beliefs, but faith in an optimistic view of the future, excitement for the future, possibilities and love... Sitting in that circle, in an amazing experience, doing something so special, so right, preparing to move to a magical place and awaiting news on a potential job, I had faith. I had belief that life could be good, and blessed, and magic.
During the dedication ceremony I remembered the land as it once was, when Priestesses of the past walked on the Isle, when less buildings occupied the hills, Old Avalon. I remembered being a Priestess, initiation and dedication to serve the Goddess.
I went through each of the archetypes, excited child, wild maiden, sensual lover, giving mother, sovereign queen and courageous crone. I truly appreciated the suffering that occurred in my past, for without it I would not be here. Had She not have ended the toxic relationship that I was in, then I would never have been 'allowed' to undergo Priestess training. I would never truly find myself. I'd never be able to pay for it. I dedicated myself to Her, the Red Goddess of Love, and She took me by my word. She took control and made it possible for me to fulfil my vow to Her.
I have no regrets. I am not resentful. The past is the past, and is a gift of learning. This is where I have always meant to be. And there is so much more ahead...
I move on to Priestess of Rhiannon training next. If I remain on the Isle of Avalon I intend to complete the next two spirals, but Rhiannon has told me that I need to learn from Her first. I need to heal my sexuality and wild feminine self before I can dedicate as a Priestess of Avalon. I need to fulfil my vow of dedication to the Lady of Love.
Before I start this new journey Banbha may provide lessons as I make considerable changes in my life during Her season. Rhiannon is waiting eagerly to take me on Her wild mare, but perhaps Banbha is awaiting me settling into a new home, a new independence and new sovereignty first.